If we could learn to like ourselves, even a little, maybe our cruelties and angers might melt away. – John Steinbeck
You’re fat. You’re unworthy. You can’t do it.
Would you ever allow someone to speak to you this way? Would you ever say such mean, nasty words to someone else? How about when you talk to yourself? Do you have a bully in your head?
Why is it that compliments are fleeting, but we will internalize an insult and remember it forever? We so SO hard on ourselves!
When you look in a mirror, what do you think? Something kind? Or something mean?
Changing that self-talk from self-deprecating to self-nurturing is difficult to accomplish. It’s changing a habit that is so deeply ingrained in us, we most often don’t even realize we’re doing it.
The first step in taming your internal bully is to start paying attention to them. Really tune in to your thoughts and notice how your inner voice speaks to you. If it’s not nice, correct it.
I have a friend who, when words come out wrong, or a conversation takes a bad turn, she says, “Cancel! Cancel!” Then she starts over with intention and says what she meant to say.
This has been a great tool for me in retraining my inner bully. For example, if I see a photo of myself and think, “Jesus Malone! I look awful.” I stop and think, “Cancel! Cancel!…That was a really fun day. I’m glad I have a photo to remember it.”
Or, driving to a job interview, “Ugh. What am I doing? I can’t do this. I hate this feeling!…Cancel! Cancel!…Deep breath…You’re going to be great. Relax. Worst case scenario, you lose an hour of your time, so go for it!”
Having an inner voice who cheers you on rather than tears you down is an enormous blessing. It affects everything you do and increases your level of joy.
Give it a shot today – listen to your inner voice and don’t put up with any of its crap! You are strong, beautiful and capable. No one, especially you, should be telling you different.