Archive for the ‘Kids’ Category

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Gratitude Points

Friday, November 18th, 2011

G is 7 now.  My sweet little baby is 4 foot, 4 inches tall.  I hardly recognize him sometimes.  Lately, he’s been in a mood – quick to pout and generally morose.

As I focused in on him to ascertain what’s going on, I started hearing a surprising amount of negativity and complaining from the rest of the people in my household.  We have a propensity to take our blessings for granted and hone in on what’s deficient.

I certainly know better than to have this grumpiness in my own home!  I keep my own thoughts positive (most of the time) and demand joy for myself, but now it’s time to teach my son.

I’m going at this a couple of different ways, but my favorite is a new family tradition.  At least once a day (at dinner time plus any other time I see grouchiness), everyone has to say three things that they’re grateful for.  Big things, little things, doesn’t matter.  My goal is to raise everyone’s awareness that we have a pretty amazing life.

In addition to building an understanding that most people are far less fortunate than we are, and my “quit your bitching” campaign, I’m hoping that making gratitude a habit will be as helpful for my family as it has been for me.

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Posted in Gratitude, Kids | 2 Comments »

Babies Come from Where?!

Thursday, November 10th, 2011

G was telling me about his day.  Someone brought a “Believe It or Not” book to school.  I was hearing the story of a woman who had a baby in her stomach, but she didn’t have enough money to go to the doctor to get the baby out.  So while she was saving up her money for a doctor, the baby was in her stomach for three years!

Hmm.  I told G that this was the ‘not’ part of ‘believe it or not’.  I explained that having babies is part of nature and then even if you don’t have a doctor to help, that baby is going to come out.

G:  “How?  Where does it come out?  Of your mouth?”

Meg:  “No honey.  (deep breath)  Babies come out of vaginas.”

His face contorted with horror.  I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing.  “That must really hurt!” he said.  I confirmed.

So I think it’s time to have “the talk”.  Now that he knows how babies get out, it’s only a matter of time before he wants to know how they get in there in the first place.

This is a big moment and I don’t want to be unprepared.  I’ve ordered “Where Did I Come From” and I’m gathering my thoughts.

I can use all the help I can get – any suggestions?

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Posted in Books, Kids, Motherhood | 2 Comments »

Pinky Called Me a Meanie

Sunday, August 21st, 2011

We're all out of vanilla wafers.

My Dearest Pinky –

In the years to come, I will:

nag you,

annoy you,

embarrass you,

enrage you,

invade your privacy,

even deny you your rights.

All because I love you – even when love is not the emotion you’re feeling about me.

I would walk through fire to protect you,

hunt you down like a bloodhound to find you,

and eviscerate anyone who tries to hurt you.

So when you look at me with your sweet little angel face burning red with fury and tell me how mean I am, that’s why I smile.  Because, my darling, pissing you off is part of my job as your mom.  And today, I am extra good at my job.

All my love –

Mom

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Posted in Kids, Motherhood | 4 Comments »

You Know You’re a Mom When…

Thursday, May 12th, 2011

Motherhood has relaxed me in many ways. You learn to deal with crisis. I’ve become a juggler, I suppose. It’s all a big circus, and nobody who knows me believes I can manage, but sometimes I do.”  – Jane Seymour

You Know You’re a Mom When…

  • your kisses have medicinal powers.
  • poop & snot don’t really bother you at all.
  • you’re the only person in the world who can solve someone’s problems.
  • you and you alone know how to make toast properly.
  • you can interpret the alien language that toddlers speak.  For example:
  • – “Beebut peez” = I would like to watch Big Bird please.
  • – “Mook! Mook!” = I’m thirsty.  May I have some milk?
  • – “Uckawalla!” = Yuckola.  I need a diaper.
  • – “Pity!” = Will you please put a barrette in my hair? (pretty)
  • – “Munny Waddit” = Will you hand me that bunny rabbit so I can go to sleep?
  • – “Nice. Nice.” = Sorry I hit you.
  • you psychically know when someone you can’t see or hear is up to no good.
  • you can do seven things at once.
  • you can carry 45 things at once.
  • you never leave a room empty handed
  • the act of sitting down in a room by yourself for more than 90 seconds acts as a beacon for everyone else in your house to need you.
  • your mere presence equals someone’s complete sense of security.
  • seeing their little faces light up when you come home instantly changes a day from bad to good.

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Posted in Kids, Motherhood | 2 Comments »

Save the Drama for Your…Oh. Damn.

Wednesday, April 13th, 2011

Pinky is 22 months old.  The drama!  Oh. My. God. The drama.  When I couldn’t immediately produce a sparkly barrette this morning, she threw herself to the ground, screaming in emotional toddler agony.  Not wanting to indulge this level of ridiculousness, I stepped over her and went into the other room.  She stopped crying, got up off the floor and followed me.  When she was again in line of sight, she threw herself back down and resumed her tantrum.  A little difficult to take seriously.

She actually puts the back of her hand to her forehead as if to say, “Alas.  Woe is me.”  She practices making serious faces.  She has a hair trigger.

She will learn that she is expending way too much energy for no pay off, and soon enough, the tantrums will stop.

However I have to admit, when someone shot down one of my ideas in a meeting yesterday, I had to suppress the urge to throw myself to the ground screaming.  Wouldn’t they be surprised!

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Posted in Kids | 3 Comments »

Today I Am a Good Mom

Tuesday, March 22nd, 2011

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you’re feeling festive?  – Roseanne

There are days when I think my kids got the short end of the stick when they got me.  Days when I curse too near their little ears.  When I let them eat nachos for breakfast and sleep in their clothes.  When they’re acting like rotten brats and I have to bit my tongue to keep from yelling, “go away and leave me alone!”

Today is not that day.  G voluntarily got out of bed extra early this morning so he could eat breakfast with me.  While Willis was getting Pinky dressed, I came around the corner.  Her little face burst into a smile and she said, “Hi Mommy!” Both kids even voluntarily helped me pick up all the toys in the TV room before school. 

I’m listening to the two of them playing and laughing together nicely.  For this moment, there is no hitting, no tattling, no screams of “mine!”  They like each other, which fills me with pride.

Tomorrow may be the day that I make their future therapists wealthy, but today my kids are happy and healthy and kind and wonderful.  Today I am a good mom.

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Posted in Gratitude, Joy, Kids | 6 Comments »

Perhaps She’ll Die

Thursday, March 17th, 2011

Just not that big a deal.

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly.  I don’t know why she swallowed a fly.  Perhaps she’ll die.

My pediatrician will ask whether the child they’re seeing is your first or if she has older siblings.  Now that I have two, I’ve learned that the doctor’s tone changes completely depending on the answer.  With the first child, they slow down and give you lots of details and background.  For subsequent children, he assumes that you know more and obsess about small details less.  He’s right.  After the first go around, you’re mellower.

I do worry less now, which makes it easier to parent a small child.  If Pinky refuses a meal, she’ll probably eat the next one.  I don’t like head bonks, but I know that they’re a necessary part of her development.  I still worry about my kids’ safety and futures, but the day-to-day stuff – I know that it works itself out.  For example, when G was an infant, I would say, “I can’t take a shower.  The baby is crying!”  With Pinky, it’s more like, “If she’s screaming, then she’s obviously breathing.  Please work it out.  I’ll be back in ten minutes.”

I was apoplectic when G learned the word “butt” as opposed to “bottom”.  Now I accept that it’s cute and pick more important battles.

So when on of my angels is throwing a fit or telling me how terribly unfair I am, I just can’t meet their level of emotion.  I watch their supreme, sometimes Oscar-worthy drama and I think of the song about the lady who swallowed a fly…(facetiously of course) “Oh, poor baby.  Perhaps you’ll die.”

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Posted in Kids, letting go | 3 Comments »

Play Time

Monday, February 7th, 2011

I just pick 'em up.

I was having a conversation with some friends recently.  “Alice”, the mother of a 4-year-old mentioned that she has so much guilt because she has so much to do that she doesn’t have time to play with her son every day.  And when she does play with him, she doesn’t enjoy it at all.

My reply, which admittedly could have been better thought out was, “Four-year-olds aren’t fun.  Give yourself a break.  I don’t play with my kids.”  As soon as I said it, I thought, “Wait.  I don’t play with my kids?  That sounds terrible.”  But it’s true.  I very rarely get down on the floor to play with trucks or building blocks.  I read to them and talk to them, but what they want to play is not fun for me.

I was relieved when “Alyssa”, another mom, backed me up.  “I don’t play with my kids either, but I spend lot of time with them doing other stuff and I make sure that they are well-outfitted with books, games and art supplies.  That’s my job,” she said.

“Exactly,” I echoed.  “My kids need me for a ton of things, but they don’t need this mom to be their playmate.”

“Alice” seemed very relieved to hear that she’s not at all inadequate.  And secretly, I was grateful for the validation.

What do you think?  Do your kids need you to play with them?

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Posted in Kids | 7 Comments »

What I Want for Her

Wednesday, January 26th, 2011

“A strong woman understands the importance of creating space for personal well-being, spiritual nourishment and regeneration in order to maintain her authenticity, especially when the universe whacks her with its two-by-four and hands her days when it takes a great deal of courage just to show up.” - Laura Folse

“A strong woman understands that gifts such as logic, decisiveness and strength are just as feminine as intuition and emotional connection.  She values and uses all of her gifts.” - Nanci Rathbun

“There are times to stay put and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.” - Lemony Snicket

Pinky is just beginning to speak in sentences – “Where go Daddy?” and “Uh oh. Yucky mess!”  She is so smart, so funny, so headstrong, so stubborn (I don’t know where she could have gotten that).  She is an amazing little creature.  There are so many things I wish for her, and by extension, for myself and for all women:

  • First the basics – safety & good health
  • Confidence & assertiveness
  • To be generous & compassionate with a full understanding of how fortunate she is
  • A strong work ethic
  • A finely-tuned B.S. detector
  • A love of learning & knowledge in all its forms
  • An adventurous spirit
  • Freedom from perfectionism, anxiety & self-doubt
  • Resilience to learn from tough times & carry on
  • The wherewithal to take excellent care of herself – mind, body & spirit
  • Excellent posture & grammar
  • A razor-sharp mind and a tongue to match
  • A life partner who adores her
  • A strong circle of friends who support her
  • Work that she is passionate about
  • The financial freedom to follow her dreams
  • A never-ending sense of wonder about the world
  • A life of amazing experiences
  • Unlimited laughter and joy

Too much to ask?  I think not.

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Posted in Body Image, boundaries, Education, Friendship, Gratitude, hope, Joy, Kids, nurture, Wisdom | 2 Comments »

She Takes No Guff

Thursday, January 13th, 2011

Pinky had her 18-month check-up this week.  The doctor portion went well enough.  She has been declared healthy and “college material”.  But then…we had the nurse part.

A very nice young woman came into the exam room with Pinky’s vaccination shots.  When I put her on the table, she instantly knew that something shady was about to happen and she started to fuss.  Predictably, she cried when the nurse gave her the shot in her fat little thigh.  This nurse was great by the way – she gave two shots and a band-aid in about 4 seconds flat.

Pinky sat up on the table and looked down at the bright orange bandage on her leg.  It had daisies on it.  This child wasn’t sad or scared or hurt.  She was pissed.  Without missing a beat, she grabbed the band-aid and ripped it off her leg.  She held it out to the nurse in her tiny outraged fist and said sternly, “No no no!”  And then she threw it at her.

The nurse tried not to look amused as she gave Pinky a very serious-sounding apology.  My first reaction was to be thankful that Pinky does not have a more extensive vocabulary.  And then I thought, “You go, sister friend!  You tell her.”

She may be a challenge to raise, but I think she’s going to be just fine in the world.

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Posted in Kids, Power | 1 Comment »

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